Global Funny Global Funny Global Funny
I know global warming is bad
but wouldn't it be kinda funny if dinosaurs made humans go extinct?
Global Facts About Sex
At any given moment:
FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex (i.e. right now);
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing;
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex;
FACT: A few less fortunate are reading emails & web postings;
You hang in there!
Everyone seems worried about global warming and world hunger...
...but the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text.
If you're ever having trouble talking to strangers...
...I hear global warming is a great icebreaker.
How do they calculate global warming?
Al-gore-ythms
Global warming can reduce terrorism
because the isis melting.
My girlfriend has a global map tattooed on her body
She may have been a difficult person to deal with. But you always knew where you were with her.
The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S manufacturing non-competitive...
Donald Trump, 2012.
You are what you think you are
Her: What do you do?
Me: Global prosthetics distribution.
Her: So you're an artificial limb salesman?
Me: I prefer 'international arms dealer'.
Why did the global warming activist compliment the earth?
Cause it looked hotter than usual! (I'll see myself out)
How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents
Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the Reindeer drowned.
You can explore global globe reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean global farthest dad jokes. There are also global puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do you call it when worms take over the world?
Global Worming.
Donald Trump is such a good salesman he could sell ice to the Eskimos.
Which will come in handy considering his policies on global warming.
A Saudi prince has come forward saying that they should end the ban placed on women driving in the kingdom.
Interesting, just in time when all global tech giants are in the final stage of trials of their self-driving cars.
What if aliens are responsible for global warming?
And this is just their way of breaking the ice.
Why did the Cold War end?
Global warming started.
Trump has left the historical Paris Climate Accord in which countries around the world agreed to fight global warming...
It was the first time he pulled out of a working model.
How to solve Global Warming:
Convince republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.
The eclipse did two things our political leaders cannot.
It slowed global warming and gave us all something to look up to
How do you make a Eskimo lose his cool?
GLOBAL WARMING.
Why does everyone try to discredit Flat Earthers?
It's like there's a global conspiracy.
Global warming is funny.
Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up.
You can't really blame Donald Trump for not believing in Global Warming
He's permanently surrounded by snowflakes.
Me: Did you know that the fish in Egypt dont believe in global warming?
Friend: ....
Me: Yeah, they're in Da Nile
TIL the Earth produces global electromagnetic resonance with the highest peak frequency of 33.8Hz, slightly lower than a C#1 note with a frequency of 34.65Hz.
I guess you can say the earth is flat.
How do you program global warming?
using an Al-Gore-ithm
Did you know that global warming is making students do worse?
Because all I've heard is that C levels are rising.
I'm from a future where Trump won re-election and solved Global Warming
Just a heads up though, nuclear winter is a bit chilly.
If you meet someone new, talk about global warming.
Its a really good icebreaker.
When someone says they don't believe in global warming
Be a lot cooler if you did
Batman: "Alfred, why do people deny global warming?"
Alfred: "Some men just want to watch the world butn."
What do you call a boring story about global warming?
Anti-climatic
Why didn't the parents let their kids watch the documentary on global warming?
Too much Gore...
What's not a good icebreaker?
Global warming
You'd think Ocasio-Cortez would support global warming...
Given how much she hates ICE and all.
If you meet a woman, start talking about global warming.
It's a real icebreaker.
Day 1: Staying home, avoiding social gatherings and eating food in my room
Day 50: Continuing with this process
Day 100: Still feeling okay
Day 2500: Now a global virus has arrived and others are doing what i do.
What if this whole Global Warming thing doesn't happen?
Boy, will that be anticlimatic!
I just got a job processing transactions for a global multi-billion dollar company!
I'm so thankful to McDonald's for this opportunity.
Yo Mamma so ugly...
Yo momma so ugly that we created a global conspiracy "plandemic" and ruined the world economy and expedited the new world order and ruined Trump's rally and banned the Confederate flag from nascar and cancelled major league baseball just so she'd wear a mask.
Lol plague inc easy mode is so unrealistic
Like who wouldn't wash their hands and wear a mask during a global pandemic.
Did you know global warming is reducing terrorism?
The ISIS melting.
When I meet women, I immediately start talking about global warming.
It's a real icebreaker.
Smallpox, the Spanish Flu, and the black death have already done the whole global pandemic thing...
What covid is doing is just plaguerism.
What do flat-earthers call global warming?
Toast
Global warming doesn't exist
This subreddit is the only place it's appropriate to say that.
Why is there global chip shortage?
Because it all went into vaccines.
Globally over 99% of asphalt is recycled. It is the second most recycled material in the world, after jokes on reddit
Globally over 99% of asphalt is recycled. It is the second most recycled material in the world, after jokes on reddit
In 2024 Al Gore decided to run for president again.
His campaign hinged on a song he made to promote the dangers of global warming. It was so popular it became a meme.
After a while, everyone was talking about Al Gore, and, sure enough he became President.
When asked on the News, "How do you think he won," two fallen YouTubers stated, "You can't beat the Al Gore Rhythm."
What's the difference between Jesus and vaccines?
One has the ability to prevent disease, slow down and eventually stop a global pandemic, and has saved countless millions of lives.
The other is a giant hoax, made up by evil shit bags to control the global population.
How many cities does it take to start a global pandemic?
Only Wuhan.
I'm an environmental hipster
I believed in global warming before it was co... nevermind.
We should all stop studying to prevent global warming
Because everytime someone graduates, the world increases by a degree.
COVID-19 has been around for 2 years now and I haven't even caught it once!
Even a global pandemic doesn't want me.
Pegleg Pete the Pirate decided to retire
He fired his crew, ran his ship aground, and built a small cabin for himself just a short walk from the beach. He enjoyed his quiet life until global warming turned his front yard into a swamp. He couldn't get down to the shore without struggling through muck and mud that was once his peaceful stroll. Finally, he realized only one solution was possible: he was going to have to plank the walk.
A global crisis broke out, affecting every nation and people of all kinds
In response, the world banded together and quickly solved the problem through mutual cooperation and understanding
Retail job interview (2012): Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
You mean after the global pandemic or before the war?
An American, a Saudi Arabian, and a Chinese person were asked what their opinion on the global wood shortage was.
Unfortunately, none of them understood the question.
The American asked, what's a shortage?
The Saudi asked, what is wood?
The Chinese asked, what's an opinion?
Source: https://jokojokes.com/global-jokes.html
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